Wednesday, October 7, 2009

some collected thoughts on marriage...

Recently a customer at work used our phone to call her husband (she apparently needed picked up or something). After getting off the phone (which she had ended with a cute little french farewell) she turned to my co-worker and me and said: "25 years we've been together and I'm still crazy about that man. He's so sweet and He does just about anything for me. He's going all out of his way for me...":) It was adorable. She went on to share an anecdote about how recently they had just climbed into the car to go somewhere and he looked at her and said: "Is it possible that I could love you more right now than I ever have?"I don't know anything about their history, but I loved hearing her talk about the two of them.

Marriage gets such a bad rap in society these days. People rarely share the happy or positive sides of love and marriage; they typically focus on the difficulties and complain about their spouses. Many even openly mock marriage. When Luke and I got engaged I remember people congratulating me, but also getting that vibe that people were thinking: "hope it works out". How is marriage supposed to be successful when that is the pervasive cultural attitude? It's a truly sad state of affairs. Marriage can be such an awesome thing if those involved can learn to be selfless and to be honest and open with each other. We live in such a selfish and self absorbed society. Luke and I are blessed to be surrounded by many people with healthy, happy marriages and I am so thankful for their examples. My Grandpa and Grandma Cummings are going on 65 years or something. How cool is that?!

I don't know if anyone else happened to be watching tv when they aired parts of Patrick Swayze's audio diary, but hearing him talk about his wife of 34 years or so and how much he loved her was very touching. He said marrying her was the best decision he ever made. Once again, I don't know much about their life together, but I do know that they stuck it out and hung in it together and that when he died, they still loved each other.

I'm going this weekend to participate in and celebrate with my friend of 20 or so years as she marries her best friend and I am so excited. Although marriage definitely has challenges and difficulties, it is an amazing journey. The coolest thing is that you are in it together and that you have committed to one other to help each other along the journey of life. Having your best friend by your side is awesome. I have understood that more this past year than ever before.

I am quite certain that 25 and 50 and 60 and 100 (yes, we secretly plan to be married this long:) years into our marriage, I will still be crazy about Luke. I know things will have changed and that we will have been through alot by then, but having him there and having God in our midst will make it ok and worthwhile.


Heather L. said...

Enjoyed your post. What a cute customer! I hope you have a great time at your friend's wedding.

stephanie said...

Great post! Wish I could plan to be married for 100 years to Jeremy. Alas, I may just have to settle for like 70. :)

LauraG said...

Love this. You are so right. Let's celebrate good marriages and look for the things to appreciate about the wonderful spouses God has given us!

sam said...

This is so true! Rich and I were amazed how negative many people were about marriage when we got engaged. They were congratulatory and excited for us but also full of "wait until he starts doing this" and "bet she's already started telling you such-and-such". They seem to just naturally assume that is the course all marriages must take. I find it very sad.

PS - We definitely need to take that camping trip :D